i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
