A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
