Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
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I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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