if you like me you must not know who I am
I will die if light touches me.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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