That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
