I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
