Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
