with your own penis?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
