I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I see more hoeing in ur future
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
