It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
