What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
