Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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