remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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