I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
