hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
