Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
