WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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