Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
