using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
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No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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