conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's just like the Real World with babies
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
