I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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