I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
