If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
