idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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