How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
