But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is it penis luge time yet?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
