Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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