Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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