I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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