So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
