we have officially lost it.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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