so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize