It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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