it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
