We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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