I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
