from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i was born a porn star she said
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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