Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
