Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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