TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
