my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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