I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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