So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
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Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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