Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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