operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
