it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
