one might say we're banned from that church
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
