3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
