Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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