Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
