No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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