did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
