There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
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I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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