Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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