I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
