Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
