what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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