My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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