i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
