The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
