I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
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We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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