my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
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It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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