Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
