I hate your face
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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