if only i could text you this smell
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
