So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
